Lindsay Lohan Wants to Hook Up With Chris Brown

Lindsay Lohan was so mesmerized by Chris Brown flying through the air at the MTV Video Music Awards, an awards show she didn’t attend because she wasn’t invited, that she went on Twitter to kiss his ass and ask him out on a date.

– @ChrisBrown killed it. #MTVVMAs
– @chrisbrown wanna meet?

The conspiracy theorist inside me thinks this is just a diabolical plan to date Chris Brown and then goad him into punching her a zillion times in the face so she can get publicity. Suffice to say, this sounds like the best idea Lindsay has ever had.