Today’s News Brought to You by Me at the Beach

Katie Holmes’ life is really hard. She has to carry paper and makers in her own purse. [The Superficial]
Evan Rachel Wood looks amazing at the London photocall for Ides of March. [Lainey]
13-year-old Cher Lloyd paid to perform for old men. This sounds… about right. [Holy Moly]
Kate Bosworth literally had vertigo after breaking up with Orlando Bloom. He must have taken her to dizzying heights. [Celebitchy]
Michelle Pfeiffer is still sort of pretty. [Hollywood Rag]
Danish model who dated Kid Rock has leaked nude pics. Yea, you’re famous now. Enjoy your 15 seconds. (NSFW) [Yeeeah]
Christina Milian shows off her cleavage in LA. [GCeleb]
RuPaul wants Courtney Stodden’s guidance. Who doesn’t? [Evil Beet]
Derek Jeter drank with these ladies at a NYC bar. [Busted Coverage]
These celebrities have their own MotoACTV. It’s called a $100/session personal trainer. [MoeJackson]
Hollywood is raising River Phoenix from the dead and putting him back to work. *Cracks whip* [TDW]