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Jessica Simpson Loves Pregnancy

Jessica Simpson tells PEOPLE that pregnancy was meant for her. Om nom nom nom. She continues, “I love being pregnant. I have such an incredible connection with myself and with my body that I’ve never had before.” *Opens mouth, pretends to shovel food inside.* Om nom nom nom.

Simpson adds, “Just knowing that you’re creating a life is such a spiritual thing. Everything is growing, but you’re making a life. It’s pretty cool.” And you also get to “eat for two.” Om nom nom nom.

“People always say that pregnant women have a glow,” she says. “And I say it’s because you’re sweating to death. I think they just tell pregnant women they’re glowing to make them feel good about themselves, because everything makes them a little bit emotional.”

And there goes any idealized notions you had about pregnancies. Women don’t glow, they just sweat a lot on account of all that fat pressing against their struggling hearts. Also, she made her fiance Eric Johnson her b*tch. “When I’m tired, I make Eric rub me,” she says. “Eric is very, very supportive. We’re both extremely excited. He’s been to every doctor’s appointment with me. We just love it. We can’t believe we get to do this, and we get to do it together. We’re going to be a rock star family!”

“Rub my toes while I polish off this bucket of chicken and Costco tub of ice cream. Om nom nom nom.”

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chewy
chewy
12 years ago

I don’t see this baby being a rocket scientist, although Eric Johnson went to Yale..Hmm..still the force field of Jessica Simpson is way too powerful for Eric’s mortal powers to resist. Yup, this baby is gonna be eatin’ glue.

fatty boomballatty
fatty boomballatty
12 years ago

Hell yeah, she loves pregnancy…she can eat like a fucking pig and get fat as hell !!!  Let’s see how many years it takes her to lose the “baby weight.”

lol
lol
12 years ago

Oh people lighten up.. she is playing ya all & giving you what you want to hear & taking it to the bank & that is no dumb  blonde that can do that.. She suckers ya all the time knows what she  is known for & plays into it. She has agreat circle of friends that know her well & she has the best self depricating humour out there.
You all think your brilliant with your negative commets but you get suckered everytime..lol

Capt. Obv.
Capt. Obv.
12 years ago
Reply to  lol

What the f**k are you high on?  Brain damage?