Blue Ivy Carter isn’t even two weeks old yet and Beyonce and Jay-Z are already spoiling her rotten. They’ve already spent over $1.5 million in toys and equipment for the kid. What have they bought to ensure every other kid in the world will hate her with a passion?
– A $15,000 Swarovski-studded high chair by Carla Monchen
– A Fantasy ‘posh tots’ coach carriage crib for $22,000
– A $600,000 solid gold handmade Ginza Tanaka rocking horse
– A $30,000 magical windmill playhouse and mini-Bugatti
– $350,000 ensuring the nurseries in their three homes are identical
– A wardrobe of one-off designer clothes that the kid will outgrow in a year
This kid is going to be such an entitled princess but loved by all. At school, she’ll be all like, “Hey, guys. Let’s take a ride in my mini-Bugatti to my solid gold rocking horse located in my magical windmill house.” Meanwhile, little Timmy listening within earshot, rocking on his homemade rocking horse, will be all like, “Aww, f**k you!”
Hip Hop Royalty
That kid is white sperm and egg, implanted in somebody else, will need reassurance growing up thinking its parents are gorillas…