Vanessa Bryant Is the Big Winner in Kobe Bryant Divorce

Kobe Bryant gets to bang a bunch of groupies while playing for the Lakers but Vanessa Bryant got $75 million (close to half his fortune) and 3 mansions in the ensuing divorce.

TMZ previously reported several transfers of property earlier this year between Kobe and Vanessa. It turns out, based on the property settlement, Vanessa scored a clean sweep, snagging ALL THREE of the former couple’s mansions in the Newport Beach area.

Vanessa gets the estate the couple was living in, the estate her mom is living in, and she gets the new estate that had been under construction for 2 years and was just completed. We were told Kobe was moving into the new estate, but that’s not true. It’s Vanessa’s crib, lock stock and barrel. TMZ

That settles it. I’m going to pull a Khloe Kardashian. I’m putting on a wig, tucking my penis and heading to the Staples center to find me a husband. Wait. I could have just hit on Vanessa Bryant instead, huh? I regret nothing!