This Is How Madonna Will Stay Young

In an attempt to fight the signs of ageing and prevent herself from totally shriveling up like a raisin, Madonna sucked the life force from Nicki Minaj during a music video shoot. I’m sorry, I read that wrong. Madonna got drunk and kissed Nicki Minaj.

She explained to Anderson Cooper, “It was her birthday and it was actually the end of one of those long days of shooting and we were all giving a birthday toast to her. After a few sips of champagne I kissed her, yes.”

Anderson joked, “I’ve got a bunch of people in the audience that are whispering to me that it’s their birthday as well.” Madonna responded by tenting her fingers, whispering, “Egggcellent,” and cackling maniacally.