Johnny Depp Hooked Up With Ashley Olsen

Ashley Olsen recently quit acting so what better way to spend her free time than banging Johnny Depp. The bastion of investigative reporting, In Touch, claims Depp was seen sneaking out of Ashley Olsen’s apartment through an attached office building after a sleepover. Hopefully they had pillow fights and ice cream because those are the best kinds sleepovers.

It turns out the star, 48, was secretly leaving 23-years younger Ashley’s loft after a sneak slumber party. Arriving in the afternoon of February 26, Johnny hunkered down in Ashley’s Tribeca digs until noon the next day — nearly 24 hours later. “It was quiet in her apartment, like it was just the two of them in there,” an insider recalls, and though no one outside can know what happened, “It didn’t seem like it was just a visit between friends.”

Whatever the twosome were up to during their overnighter, it certainly left Johnny exhausted. When the star finally left the next day, “he looked like he was out of it,” an onlooker said. In Touch

Oh, wait. I think In Touch is implying they Ashley Olsen f**ked his brains out. Well, that’s cool too. But I wonder what Vanessa Paradis will say about this considering she still thinks they’re together. I have a sneaking suspicion she won’t be celebrating the news with high fives and fist bumps.