New reports indicate Wilmer Valderrama is now parking his penis inside Minka Kelly or at least trying to. A witness at Beacher’s Madhouse on Saturday night says Wilmer exited the club to escort Kelly and her friend inside. This was “significant” because Minka could have gotten in by herself *coughpublicisspeakcough*.
Once insider Beacher’s, where Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus also spent the evening, the actor stayed by the side of Derek Jeter’s former squeeze for the entire night. The source adds, however, the pair were careful about appearing too affectionate inside the trendy club. A friend of Valderamma’s says the famous twosome “are getting to know each other” right now. NYDN
This is a little surprising because Minka Kelly is 31 which seems 13 years too old for Wilmer. This guy usually likes them young. Though maybe all those years of picking up the young ones were just practice and now he’s going pro. Which is the argument I tried using with the judge in my court case.
Right…he’s in charge of “mopping up” after a real man forcefully injects some baby batter into her, in prep for the next “real man” in the on deck circle…that douche is a fucking piss whistle and always will be. Not funny, either.
She’s 31 and he’s 32! Wilmer’s dating someone his age!