Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen were in Barbados and, geez, she looks remarkably good in a bikini. Her body is tighter than a pair of bobcats in a burlap sack. Hayden should be all over that but he’s not. Instead, he’s lying down in the ocean using the waves to wash his butt crack. “Hur hur, look at this Rachel. Mother Nature is touching my ballsack.”
He must be a f*g…a flamer…a turd burglar…a pickle puffer…or maybe he just doesn’t like girls. That, or he’s a retard for not licking her up, down and sideways.
Oh and this article deserves its own header: We need Brooklyn Decker and Kate Upton in a vicious, nude bubble bath fight at my house, shot in HD, for a week-long competition where I am the winner. Not so dumb.