In real life, people have to pay other people like personal trainers to force them into shape. In the celebrity world, organizations pay people like Jessica Simpson $4 million ($3 million if you listen to ABC News) to stop being so fat.

On one hand, it’s sort of unfair. On the other hand, no one wants to keep looking at a fat Jessica Simpson.

“She’ll have to meet the weight-loss goals for the deal to go through,” says the source. And for that, she’ll need to get serious with a celebrity trainer. “She hasn’t cho­sen a trainer yet,” the source adds. “In fact, she hasn’t even thought about working out for a year. [ed note: obviously] But if she wants this, she’ll need to work out a good five days a week.”

Before things spiral out of control, someone should tell Jessica that Weight Watchers doesn’t mean you just stand on a scale and watch your weight go up as you tear into a drumstick.