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Jessica Simpson’s Baby Only Worth $800K

Sources tell WWD that PEOPLE shelled out $800,000 for exclusive photos of Jessica Simpson’s baby. A paltry sum compared to past celebrity babies such as Matthew McConaughey who got $3 million from OK!, Jennifer Lopez who got $6 million for her twins from PEOPLE and Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt who got $11 million for theirs.

It just goes to show. The worth of a celebrity baby is inversely proportional to how much cake said celebrity eats. Someone should explain this to Jessica in a way she can understand. Maybe through the use of a pie chart. Cause, you know, Jessica likes pie. Ok, I’ll show myself out.

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