This isn’t exactly celebrity news but it is pop culture and there’s no way I’m not posting it so here you go.
You know what’s embarrassing? Having someone almost find out you own a Fleshlight and having to bury it so no one can confirm the rumors. You know what’s more embarrassing? Seeing your friends poke at it in a tub of water on Chinese news because they thought they had dug up a rare mushroom.
That’s exactly what happened in China during a segment for Xi’an Up Close. A reporter was sent to cover a story about a mystery mushroom that was discovered in the central Chinese village of Liucunbu while they were building a new well. Ye Yunfeng, the reporter, described the object to viewers as feeling “really fleshy and meaty” and “shiny.” A Flesh-light, if you will. Based on online research, one villager suggested it was a mushroom called the taisui.
Viewers, looking in the drawer of their nightstand then back at the tv, realized it was a double-headed sex toy with artificial vagina and anus. It probably took them about a second to go online and laugh at the report which resulted in a quick apology blaming the “innocent” reporter.
Hi everyone, one of our news reports which aired last night has made everyone laugh. This incident has been widely followed, shared and commented on. As our reporter was still very young and unwise to the ways of the world, this report has brought great inconvenience to everyone. We’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone from the bottom of our hearts for your criticism and correction. Please forgive our oversight!
I would have liked the apology to end on a high note by saying they had bought the reporter 20 similar sex toys to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Unwise to the ways of the world no more.
Though the biggest loser in this story is the villager who owned the toy. He was probably thinking to himself, “Great. How am I ever supposed to use that again?”