Madonna Employs a DNA Team to Sterilize Her Dressing Room

Concert promoter Álvaro Ramos says Madonna sends a team to build her own dressing room which includes constructing fake ceilings and fake walls to make sure there are no hidden cameras inside. But that’s not even the most paranoid thing she does.

Before concert organizers can open the door to her dressing room on the Coimbra, Portugal leg of her MDNA tour, they have to wait until Madonna’s sterilization team finishes removing all traces of DNA Madonna may have left behind such as hairs, skin or saliva. *Twirls finger around ear, backs away slowly*

Concert promoter Álvaro Ramos, overseeing the ­Portuguese leg of the spectacle, said: “We have to take extreme care, like I have never seen for any other artist.

“We cannot even look at the dressing room, after it is ready, or even open the door.

“We can only enter after her sterilisation team has left the room. There will not be any of Madonna’s DNA, any hair, or anything.

“They will clean up ­everything. In the end it is all to protect her and make her feel comfortable.

“I do understand it, but it is taken to extremes.” Mirror

Big deal. So what? Seems like a necessary precaution. You know those Portuguese. Always stealing a celebrity’s DNA to try and clone them. It’s pretty common practice down there. And it’s not like Madonna puts all the little hairs and skin cells she finds into glass tubes and keeps them in the refrigerator. Haha, I mean, what kind of weirdo would do that? *Nudges fridge door closed, pets failed Megan Fox clone*