Steven Seagal Still Delusional

Anderson Silva is the greatest striker the UFC has ever seen. He’s not lost one fight since entering the organization and is the current middleweight champion. He faces Chael Sonnen for the second time in his career. Sonnen being the only guy to take Silva the distance and almost beating him before succumbing to a triangle choke, his kryptonite.

What does all this have to do with Steven Seagal? Well, for one, he took credit for Anderson knocking out Vitor Belfort with a front kick to the face. Now in an interview with MMA Fighting (via BE) to hype up the Chael Sonnen rematch, Seagal says he’s been training Anderson to use his super secret techniques which no one has ever seen in the octagon. Mm hmm. Riiight. *Pats Steven Seagal on head*

“I have (trained with Anderson Silva for this camp). I gave him some stuff that I consider to be very special, and I think it is also stuff that I don’t think most people will be expecting.”

“Well, there are millions of techniques that no one has ever seen in the UFC. I’ve showed him some of those, but I’m not going to talk about what they are. There are things that I think if Anderson decides to use them, they’ll be very effective.”

“One never knows what a fighter is going to do until he gets out there. When he fought… Vitor Belfort, I was with him until seconds before he went out. That was exactly what I asked him to do and to a ‘T,’ it was just perfect. Sometimes they do it, what you suggested and what you taught. Sometimes they go on their own, because he has an amazing plethora of different techniques, they’re very effective.”

“…We were doing Mixed Martial Arts before they even began using that term, so I’ve got a plethora of techniques that are not widely used in the UFC at all. I’m trying to bring some of those with me ’cause I think they’ll be very effective.”

Steven Seagal is what I like to call a theory fighter. In theory, his moves all work. He’s imagined around 1,000 fights and has won them all. He’s unstoppable! In fact, in a few fights he’s imagined, he’s licking an ice cream cone in one hand and knocking a guy out with the other.

Also, Seagal sounds sort of patronizing. That or Anderson Silva just treats him like the crazy guy that somehow always finds his way into the gym despite telling the guy at the front desk to not let him in.

“With me he’s already been very, very, very humble. He either fears me or pretends to fear me. He’s a consummate gentleman, a great student and a great friend. To me he’s the way I’d want any of my students or friends to be.”

The only reason Anderson Silva might be scared of him is because he thinks Steven would eye gouge him out of nowhere. Seagal also thinks TRT turns someone into the ultimate fighting machine.

“Chael last time had an extremely unfair advantage. Because, you know, that whole deal with I don’t know what it’s called, steroids, or whatever, performance-enhancing drugs or whatever. … I think this time, probably he’ll be a little more careful with that, and I think that will even the playing field.”

“Let’s just say this, I think this time, they’re both going to be at their best. I don’t think there’s going to be any controversy, I don’t think there’s going to be any injuries. I think two great fighters are going to go out there and have it out, and I think my guy’s going to win. My guy’s going to win handily this time.”

I like how at the end, Steve slowly transitions into pretending he’s Anderson’s coach. It’s like when the team you’re cheering on wins and you sneak into their picture and chant with them, “We’re #1, we’re #1.”