Kristen Stewart Is Sorry

Kristen Stewart has issued a public apology to Robert Pattinson for screwing her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders.

“I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.”

She forgot to end that with, “XOXO, Kristen Stewart.” The X’s and O’s represent how many blowjobs per day it’s going to take for Rob to forgive her.

Hollywood Life has a few more details on the “momentary indiscretion.”

During the afternoon of July 17, Kristen was on her way home from the gym when she received a phone call. The 22-year-old quickly turned her black Mini Cooper around, according to Us Weekly, and ended up in a deserted parking lot where a curious photographer waited to see WHO the Twilight star was waiting for. Low and behold, her 41-year-old SWATHdirector, Rupert Sanders, reportedly appeared.

“Kristen was sitting with her back up against the driver’s-side window, and this guy was kissing her entire body,” a witness tells Us Weekly. At one point Rupert reportedly looked startled and pulled away, but the two went back to smooching quickly. Eventually, according to the report, Rupert looked nervous again and the two left the parking lot.

But it didn’t end there. After making out in an abandoned parking lot, the two allegedly drove off to a new location.

“He was all over her,” at every stop, the witness tells the mag.

The pair ended up in a secluded trail in LA, called Pacific View Trail, which provides a view of the Hollywood sign. The two reportedly stayed in Kristen’s car  – slouching and kissing — until it appeared to be safe to leave. When the two stepped out, according to the report, Kristen leaned against the rail with the Hollywood sign in the background while he allegedly caressed her hand and the side of her body.

“She was swept up by the moment,” a witness tells the mag.

However, the two kept their guard up when people walked by.

“A few people would walk by, and as soon as they heard a voice, they would split up and walk in other directions,” a witness tells the mag.

At one point, when a group of people walked by with a dog, Kristen and Rupert reportedly went back to her car — but then continued kissing!

About 20 minutes later, Kristen allegedly dropped Rupert off three blocks away from his house where he lives with his wife, Liberty Ross, and their two kids. Kristen and Rupert reportedly kissed one last time and he walked the rest of the way home.

So that truck stop musk Liberty Ross smelled on her husband? She was right. It was that b*tch Kristen Stewart all along!

Rupert Sanders has also released his own public statement as well.

“I am utterly distraught about the pain I have caused my family,” Sanders tells PEOPLE in an exclusive statement. “My beautiful wife and heavenly children are all I have in this world. I love them with all my heart. I am praying that we can get through this together.”

After that he turned his head to his guy friends and said, “I got to bang Kristen Stewart, high five!”