Last we left Steven Seagal, he was telling people how he invented the front kick and how he had perfected it for 20 years before teaching it to UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva who used it to KO Vitor Belfort. Anderson is set to rematch Chael Sonnen on Saturday and, naturally, MMA Heat thought it’d be a great idea to interview Steven again. How’d it go? Well, just imagine if Kanye West believed he was an elite fighter and someone kept feeding his ego for the past 2 years.
Steven starts the interview by making excuses for Anderson Silva, embellishing the rumor of his bruised ribs during the first fight by turning it into broken ribs. Which is bs because if you’ve ever had a broken rib, you’d know there’s no way anyone could fight with it.
Karyn Bryant then asks if Anderson is getting better to which Steven responds, “He’s getting better. And I got the eye. I’d know.”
Bryant humors Seagal some more saying he looked pretty good in there (the open workout mat) with Feijao (a Strikeforce light heavyweight fighter). Steven doesn’t like to toot his own horn, but he will. “Yea, he [Feijao] said, ‘how many hands do you have?’ [laughs]“ Can someone front kick this guy in the face for me please?
Responding to Bryant’s shocked statement that everyone was surprised when Seagal got a slap in on Feijao, the 60-year-old continues, “Yea, I just, you know, he’s my brother, we’re all, we play hard, we train hard and uh, that’s cool. If they can get it in on me, they will.”
Key phrase, “if they can.” *Does Steven Seagal chuckle* Because no one can lay a hand on Steven. He moves like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix. That or they don’t want to give this poor guy even more brain damage.
Ending the interview, he was asked if he’d be attending Lyoto Machida’s fight in August. Seagal said, “Probably. They’re all my children.”
So can we just assume this guy is senile and that Anderson Silva, Lyoto Machida, Feijao and the rest of Team Blackhouse are just humoring him? If you watched him spar with Anderson, it’d probably look like someone play fighting a baby where every time the baby tapped their face, they’d make a big commotion and pretend to be knocked out.
The header pic is so amazing in that it tells you everything you need to know about Seagal. Notably, that blissfully unaware smile Steven has. He seems so happy. No wonder no one wants to burst his bubble.