Hulk Hogan called the FBI to help investigate his sex tape because the feds have nothing better to do than protect celebrities from themselves. He’ll be meeting with them today but it’ll probably be short because it’s already been reported that Hulk’s friend Bubba the Love Sponge made the recording despite Hulk being adamant Bubba wouldn’t do it.
In the tape after Hulk finishes up with Bubba’s wife Heather Clem and leaves, Bubba can be seen coming in and heard saying, “If we ever did want to retire, all we’d have to do is use this footage.” Heather shot back, “You’d never do that.” Bubba, went yaaa, suuuure, saying, “I wouldn’t do that, you’d be the biggest rat, you’d be dead.”
The only issue with Bubba’s retirement plan is his gross overestimation of the value of a Hulk Hogan sex tape. Everyone’s first reaction after asking to see the Hulk Hogan sex tape is asking how to unsee it. Do I gouge out my eyes or what?
A betrayed Hulk is now planning to sue Bubba and plans to file a federal lawsuit against Gawker who posted snippets of the tape.