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Everyone, rejoice. Your favorite real life Grandmaster B Channing Tatum has just been named People’s Sexiest Man Alive. When Tatum first heard the news, he was all like, “Naaaaaaaw, son!”

“My first thought was, ‘Y’all are messing with me,'” says Tatum, who married actress Jenna Dewan-Tatum in 2009. “I told Jenna after we’d been in the bathtub washing our dogs because they’d gotten skunked.”

Says the actor: “She was like, ‘What?'”

“Yeah, she calls me [the Sexiest Man Alive] now,” he adds. And who can blame her?

That was the most Channing Tatum of quotes. Also, for some reason, PEOPLE squeezed part of his Match.com profile in here.

Her Alabama-bred heartthrob of a husband is also a sculptor who quotes Edgar Allan Poe, loves to give her massages and can’t wait to start their family. “I’m ready; I think she’s ready,” Tatum, 32, says. “The first number that pops into my head is three, but I just want one to be healthy and then we’ll see where we go after that.”

Channing also enjoys long walks on the beach, sunsets and cuddling with his dog and a good book in front of a fire on a cold winter’s night. Here’s the rest of his profile if you’re still on the fence.

Currently training to play an Olympic athlete in next year’s Foxcatcher, Tatum is all heart and muscle at 195 pounds. “I like to be lean. If I get too bulky I can’t move well and I like to move,” he says. “When I’m not training, I get really round and soft.”

Which is just fine by his wife. “People know him to be fun and sexy, but they don’t know how emotionally deep and spiritually open he is,” says Dewan-Tatum, 31. “He is such an open-hearted person; what you see is what you get.”

He’s strong yet sensitive and an open book. If this was an actual Match.com profile, their servers would have blown up by now with the amount of people messaging him.