Kim Kardashian Is Having a Girl

Based upon the fixed constant by which her hips are increasing relative to the distance of her gait, scientists have concluded that Kim Kardashian is having a girl. But figuring that out was a total waste of time because a source already told Us Weekly that she’s expecting a baby girl. *Throws graphs off desk in anger*

Says the source, “They’re over the moon! Kanye always wanted a girl.”

And now that Kanye thinks he’s a fashion designer, he’s going to custom make clothes for his baby. Said Kim, “So I don’t think hand-me-downs are going to work.”

The baby is due in July so expect that kid to be wearing a leather dress and diamond face mask by August. Then watch her be home schooled by the time she’s 7 after being given an immediate swirly on the first day of school.