Oscar Gift Bags Have Gotten Weird | The Blemish

Oscar Gift Bags Have Gotten Weird

By on February 22, 2013

In recent years, Oscar nominee gift bags have become less and less exclusive. They’re still worth more than some people make in a year but ever since the government declared the $100,000+ bags taxable, celebrities have started not caring about them or even donating them to charity.

This year’s gift bags are valued at $45,000. Down $20,000 in value from the year before. Not only are they getting cheaper, but the gifts are getting weirder. They still have the $10,000 trips to Australia and skincare products worth hundreds of dollars each but now they also have condoms, a cheap book, maple syrup and circus training. What year is this, 1950? Via The Daily Beast, here are the stranger items in the gift bag.

-Take 2: Your Guide to Happy Endings and New Beginnings by Leeza Gibbons, a book about “starting over; taking inventory, and getting smarter, stronger, and sexier with no apologies, no regrets and no turning back.” ($24.00)

-A six-pack box of Naked brand condoms ($20.00)

-Maple syrup, from Rouge Maple Gourmet Products ($120.00)

-Portion-control dinnerware by Slimware: “Portion consciousness is disguised in the design.” ($59.00)

-A Vampire Facelift, a cosmetic procedure that involves re-injecting gel-like substances from the patient’s blood back into the skin of their face to treat wrinkles. ($5,000.00)

-Tickets to the circus, to see “North America’s only all-kid troupe.” ($400)

-Hair ties. But they double as bracelets! ($80.00)

-A lint roller by Gleener, called The Ultimate Fuzz Remover ($19.99)

-Windex touch-up cleaner ($3.99)

It’s like they needed fillers when the real stuff didn’t seem to be cutting it. This gift bag is almost to the point of free useless swag. By next year, the $10,000 trips will be gone and everything will be replaced by a floor map of the Oscars, lots of stickers, almost expired condoms and a Ninja Turtle action figure. I mean, tickets to train for the circus? You might as well hop on a train with a satchel tied to a stick.

The header image is an old gift bag.

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