2013-oscars-women

Last night was Hollywood’s biggest event of awards season. The Oscars. It was a chance for the Hollywood elite to sit down in a room together and pat each other on the backs while Seth MacFarlane made fun of them.

The night got off to a decent start when MacFarlane opened up the show singing about whose boobs he’s seen in which movies. Naomi Watts in Muholland Drive, Anne Hathaway in Brokeback Mountain, Charlize Theron in Monster, Jodie Foster in The Accused, Kristen Stewart in On the Road, and Kate Winslet in “whatever you’re shooting right now.” What made the bit was the crowd reactions. Namely Naomi Watts who made an expression like someone told her they just killed her dog.

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It would have been way better if she wasn’t in on the bit. Meanwhile, Jennifer Lawrence gave a fist pump when Seth sang, “We haven’t seen Jennifer Lawrence’s boobs at all.”

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That wasn’t the only musical number in the show either. I think the entire night was Seth MacFarlane’s demo reel.

Later on during the acceptance speech for Best Visual Effects which Life of Pi won, the theme to Jaws started playing when they were trying to bring attention the special-effects artists out of a job and picketing outside the Oscars. Nicole Kidman summed up the moment nicely.

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Since the theme of the night was “musicals,” there were about 20 of them all rolled into one segment. Jennifer Hudson, Anne Hathaway, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe and more all sang songs from their respective musicals. The one that stood out was Catherine Zeta-Jones. Not for her heavenly voice, but because she was lip-syncing.

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Then there was that moment when Sandra Bullock tried to open the envelope for Best Film Editing going into ogre mode.

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Other notable moments include Daniel Day-Lewis winning his third Best Actor trophy for Lincoln, Jennifer Lawrence winning Best Actress for Silver Linings Playbook, Anne Hathaway for support-actress for Les Miserables, which John Travolta pronounces funny, and Christoph Waltz for winning his second supporting actor Oscar for Django. Meanwhile, Tarantino won his second Oscar, this time for original screenplay.

Oh and when Jennifer Lawrence went up to accept her Oscar, she ate it. She managed to make it way less awkward by just sitting there for an extra five seconds.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=42yBDi1QdlA

In the biggest upset of the night, Ang Lee won the Oscar for Best Director for Life of Pi beating out the heavily favored Steven Spielberg for Lincoln.

Finally, as everyone expected, Argo won the Oscar for Best Picture which was half-presented by Michelle Obama for whatever reason. I’ll just use Joaquin Phoenix’s Oscar head shake to sum that up.

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Oh yea and the celebrities looked real pretty while walking the red carpet.

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