Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Buenos Aires has been elected the 266th pope of the Catholic Church. You can call him Pope Francis or maybe even Pope Frank. Friends may refer to him is Pope Frank the Tank. You ever seen that guy do a keg stand? Guy’s a pro.
Frank the Tank was elected after two days of meetings receiving at least 77 votes, the minimum 2/3 required to become pope. Soon after being voted in he was moved to the Room of Tears where he was outfitted with his new papal vestments before butt chugging a can of Natty Ice.
More than 100,000 came to see the new pope in St. Peter’s Square. Frank the Tank will probably celebrate his installation mass next week where he will proceed to make it rain on ‘dem hos.