Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson Split Again

It felt like only yesterday Kristen Stewart was having an asexual affair with her Snow White director Rupert Sanders. Since then, she and Robert Pattinson have gotten back together. Now they’ve split again. This time it was partly because of Katy Perry. I don’t even know what’s going on.

A source simply said Katy Perry “played a role, as one of many reasons” in the couple’s split. Then again, so did Kristen cheating on Rob with her director. I assume that was a much bigger problem in the grand scheme of things.

Anyway, Rob P. as his friends call him (I don’t know if they do), was seen moving his stuff out of Kristen’s house in a beat-up pickup truck. He took a suitcase, his bikes, some trash bags and his two dogs. Sources say Kristen was there and Rob looked very upset. *Cough*Pussy*Cough*