Lindsay Lohan did a print interview with Piers Morgan for The Daily Mail before she started her rehab and the entire thing is chock full of laughs. It’s nothing short of amazing at how much bs she tries to spoon feed the public even though she must know by now no one believes her. While the interview is pretty much a joke, it’s at least hilarious read. I’ve compiled some highlights below.
When did you have your first drink?
I was 17.
Did you like it?
No, I got really sick and Mum made me sleep with vomit still on me so I’d understand how it felt. I didn’t drink again throughout high school. I was too scared!
Alcohol must have grew on her because a couple years later she was hiding vodka in water bottles.
How many times have you taken cocaine?
Everyone thinks I’ve done it so many times. But I’ve only done it maybe four or five times in my life.
Yes, I don’t like it. It reminds me of my dad. I took it four times in a period from about the age of 20 to 23, and I got caught twice.
Did it make you feel good?
No. I felt a little too buzzed – it made me feel uncomfortable.
People will find it hard to believe you’ve only taken it four times.
It’s the truth. I’ve never taken heroin either, never injected myself with anything, never done LSD. Those things all scare me.
Hollyscoop compiled a list of all the times she was arrested for cocaine possession or when people saw her do lines.
- May 5, 2007 – Lindsay is videotaped doing coke in a bathroom.
- May 26, 2007 – Lindsay is arrested for cocaine possession.
- July 25, 2007 – Lindsay is arrested for cocaine possession again.
- December 31, 2009 – The Dirty blogger, Nik Richie recounts the time he caught Lindsay sniffing coke off her wrist in a Miami club on New Year’s Eve.
- May 22, 2010 – Another photo surfaces of Lindsay with a line on a nearby table.
- September 17, 2010 – Lindsay fails a drug test for cocaine.
- September 22, 2010 – Lindsay fails a drug test again.
- October 10, 2010 – Lindsay and her mom Dina Lohan get into a cocaine-fueled fight.
- January 30, 2013 – Lindsay and Lady Gaga looking completely strung out at the Chateau Marmont. (No proof, but the pictures were telling)
As you can see, these add up to more than five. So, unless she was grouping her usage into years, she was lying. Lindsay does admit her favorite drug is ecstasy though.
What other drugs have you tried?
Pot, obviously. And ecstasy. I liked that better than the others (giggles). I didn’t drink on it, so I was just chilling. It’s something that a lot of people experience when they’re in college. I just should have known that being in the public eye, someone was bound to say something or try to make some money off it.
Lindsay goes on to explain why rehab doesn’t work for her. It’s because she’s been so many times that she’s become immune to it.
So you’re not a big drinker, don’t take a lot of drugs – why do you need rehab?
This is where it gets hard for me to explain. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people taking time to just be by themselves. I think people want to see me do that. They will keep saying the same things about me if I don’t. I don’t think it will be a bad thing for me to be away with myself for three months.
Do you think you personally need this treatment, for physical or psychological reasons?
I don’t think I need to be on lockdown for three months. I don’t think that’s rehab.
How often have you been in rehab?
I’ve been court-ordered to do it six times. I could write the book on rehab. Constantly sending me to rehab is pointless. The first few times I was court-ordered to rehab it was like a joke, like killing time.
Like school detention?
Yes. They just asked me the same old questions I’d answered before.
Of course she doesn’t think she needs to be on lockdown for three months but what she doesn’t seem to understand is that this is an alternative to jail. Worse is how she explains rehab for her is just like detention, a court mandated way to waste time.
Clearly, Lindsay is taking this rehab stint seriously. Things are going to be different this time around. I can feel it.