Kris Jenner Has a Sex Tape

In the latest episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians or whatever spin off this appeared on, Kris Jenner says she made a sex tape with Bruce. She mentioned this at a family dinner with the other Kardashians including Kendal and Kylie. For the sake of everyone’s gag reflex, hopefully this never finds its way to the internet.

Bruce is hardly pleased with the conversation topic: ‘[To do that] in this family, photos leaking, this and that, look at the problems it’s caused.’

Yea, with the marketing prowess of Kris Jenner, the Kardashians are now a million dollar industry and allowed Kim to trade up from Ray J to Kanye West. These are terrible times.

Without prompting, Kris quickly reveals her and Bruce’s secret: ‘Bruce and I made a sex tape.’

The long suffering 63-year-old tries to claim it was an ‘exercise video,’ but quickly admits the truth following his wife’s frank admission, saying ‘It wasn’t quite a sex tape.’

With the whole family left shocked, a hysterically laughing Scott Disick, asks: ‘Are we talking multiple positions?’

I assume that’s about the point Kendal and Kylie vomited a little in their mouths like I just did. The amount of mental scar tissue this whole family has would make an emo kid jealous.