Tori Spelling Was on the ‘Keep Your F*cking Mouth Shut and Eat Air’ Diet

After her fourth child in August 2012, Tori Spelling did a photoshoot with Us Weekly where she said she lost her baby weight by swimming. Turns out that was a lie. A filthy lie told to bored housewives to get them to buy olympic sized pools.

Spelling said what really happened was she couldn’t work out for months having undergone emergency surgery when the stitches from her caesarian section bust open. Instead she came up with a new diet which involved keeping her mouth shut and eating air basically admitting that she lied to Us Weekly because her publicist told her to.

‘For several months, I couldn’t really exercise,’ she writes. ‘There were a couple reasons. First, there was some risk that my scar would open up again. I was terrified of that.

‘Second, I really don’t exercise much, period. So I took my weight the old-fashioned way. I like to call it the Just Keep Your F***ing Mouth Shut and Eat Air diet. It’s all the rage.’

However, when Tori took part in a bikini shoot with Us Weekly magazine, she told them she lost weight through swimming. ‘My publicist had given me clear instructions about what to say about my weight loss,’ she explains.

‘Women didn’t want to know that I had lost weight through dieting, not exercising… So I said that I swam [even though] I can’t do much more than a doggy paddle.’ Daily Mail

This might mark the first time in history that a celebrity has lied about how they lost weight. Haha, just kidding. Though it may be the first time a celebrity just said f*ck it and admitted to lying to a weekly because they didn’t want people to know they were subsisting on a healthy diet of air at the time.

Granted, from reading the article in Us Weekly you kind of got the sense that she was bullsh*tting. Not only did she say she swam until she was sore but she said she took up “modified MMA.” Um, there’s no such thing as modified MMA. It’d just be called an aerobics class.