Normally I wouldn’t post any more videos from Patrice Wilson, creator of Rebecca Black’s Friday and Alison Gold’s Chinese Food videos, but I really have to now that I’ve watched the prequel to Chinese Food simply titled ABCDEFG.
Not only is this the laziest songwriting ever but it’s also really creepy. Pedobear levels of creepy. Let’s step through this video, shall we?
First, Wilson stares through the window of Alison Gold while she sings the alphabet like some sort of stalker. He then knocks on her door and uses a ransom note to tell her to get in his van which bears a striking resemblance to the Pussy Wagon from Kill Bill.
Naturally, she gets in because what little girl can resist a rape van. A few lazy lyrics later, Alison Gold is at a party trying to get the attention of a boy who’s ignoring her. Patrice Wilson helps by spiking her drink. Note that he has a cupboard full of potions, one of which is “tickle juice.” There are many levels of wtf here.
He eventually spikes both their drinks again. This time with a Chinese food potion turning the boy she likes into chinese food. Then she eats him. And now we know why she loves Chinese food. The end.
WTF