Keri Russell woke up at 3 am this morning to the calming sounds of burglars rummaging through the upstairs of her NYC townhouse. She went to see what the commotion was and discovered her living room window and front door open. The burglars had already escaped by then and made off with a Filson handbag, a laptop and a necklace.
Police arrested a father/son burglar team a few blocks away breaking into another house. They’re looking at them as possible suspects.
See? They made too much noise. That’s why when I sneak into a celebrity’s house, I make sure to hide in their closet until they leave for work. That way I’ll have ample time to steal their underwear to sell on eBay.