We’re Talking About Ben Affleck’s Big Dick Now

During his acceptance speech at the 25th Annual Producers Guild of America Awards, Two and a Half Men producer Chuck Lorre admitted he’s a perv who stares at celebrity dicks in the men’s room.

Lorre said he was taking a piss at the urinal at last week’s Golden Globe Awards when he snuck a peek at Ben Affleck’s penis. “Yes I peeked. And yes, Comic Con, he can play Batman,” said Lorre thinking that the number one concern of fanboys was whether or not Ben Affleck’s junk would fit into Batman’s codpiece and not how faithful the story is going to be based on issue #351 of whatever obscure comic book the film may be loosely based on.

Affleck, who heard second-hand about Lorre’s, um, enthusiastic endorsement, said later that night, “I was at the bar briefly, and I came back to my seat and somebody said, ‘You know, there was a guy up on stage who said you have a big d–k.” Adding, “I was like, ‘You know, isn’t that always how is goes? The one time it happens and I miss it!’ Thank you very much. Whoever you are, God bless you. I’m often confused with Matt Damon but rarely with Michael Fassbender, so…”

Then he took his cock out and laid it on the pedestal with a loud thump. It was his version of dropping the mic.