arsenio-hall-keep-memory-alive

Now that Donald Sterling has been banned from the NBA for being a not-so-closet racist, rich people from around the US are throwing their name in the proverbial hat to buy the LA Clippers. One of those people is Arsenio Hall.

The only problem is Arsenio Hall doesn’t have the billions to buy the team. Bro ain’t liquid. Like, at all. What he does have, however, is a slight understanding of how the internet works in that there’s this thing called “crowd funding” where strangers give people money for small tokens of appreciation. Haha, idiots.

That is to say Hall has started an Indiegogo campaign to raise the $1 billion he needs to buy the Clippers. This is probably all a joke to hype up his show but he’s already raised more than $2,500.

Granted, he does have some pretty enticing perks. $100 will get you an on-air acknowledgement in a form of a split second graphic during the show. For $500, Arsenio will mention your name on the show, pronounced incorrectly of course. For $100,000, you get to be Arsenio’s sidekick for an entire show. I assume that means you get to live out your fantasy of him kicking you in the side for the whole hour.