Kris Jenner Files for Divorce, Bruce Jenner (Probably) Goes Vagina Shopping

After 23 years, the marriage of Bruce and Kris Jenner appears to be drawing to an official close. According to court documents filed today in LA Superior Court and obtained by E! News, Kris named irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split and asked for joint custody of 17-year-old Kylie Jenner, the only underage person left in the Kardashian-Jenner household.

Upon receiving the divorce papers, Bruce made a quick stop at Dry Bar before hurrying to the offices of his cosmetic surgeon, where he browsed through a book showing various styles of vagina. This of course is just wild speculation – he might wait until tomorrow, when traffic isn’t as heavy. Bruce, go with the Sharon Stone – it’s a classic.

Kris and Bruce have stayed friendly throughout a separation that began last October, frequently getting together though Kris remains in Calabasas and Bruce is living in Malibu.

In a joint statement at the time of their separation, the couple said, “Even though we are separated, we will always remain best friends and, as always, our family will remain our number one priority.” Well, sure – any family that’s generated more than $100 million in reality show income would have to be close to the top of your Favorite Things list.

Professional athletes who’d like to date Kris may send a naked, full-body shot to [email protected].