Amanda Bynes Says She’s Engaged

Amanda Bynes exclusively tells In Touch that she’s engaged and that men should get away from her because she’s not going to f**k them.

“I am very needy for friendship and I hate men. I want to f— them, but I can now say I’m engaged — get away from me,” she told an In Touch reporter yesterday, Oct. 5. “I want to be married and I want to be away from people.”

Wow, calm down there missy. As for who would touch this special brand of crazy, his name is Caleb, he’s 19 and a Costa Mesa native. Of course he’s 19. Poor, guy. Amanda says she hopes they settle down in New York as she isn’t a big fan of driving since the lighting in cars makes her look terrible.

“I really do not enjoy driving,” she said. “I don’t like the way I look in a car. The lighting is very bad.”

She eventually wants to settle down and pop out a bunch of boys. Why? Because if she had a girl, she’d be gorgeous and that’d make her jealous and, given Amanda’s mental state, she’d probably throw her off a cliff.

“I want boys, for sure. However many I can pop out,” she told In Touch. “I don’t want a gorgeous girl around. Then I [would] feel way jealous. Ew.”

No date has been set but she says they’re exchanging vows at the London hotel in LA. She says while she doesn’t want to design her dress, she’ll probably end up doing it anyway.

“I honestly would rather not [design my dress], but I’m so particular about how I look that I cannot imagine not designing it,” Amanda told In Touch.

Good luck with that, Caleb, if you even exist. I give this 6 months tops. Meanwhile, here she is riding a Citibike in NYC. She says this isn’t her, but paparazzi pics from that day prove otherwise.