Jilted Woman Cuts Off Man’s Penis Twice, Then Throws It Out the Window

“If at first you don’t succeed…” In crazy women and cheating men news, a couple in China have a new story to tell in their online dating profiles. Husband Fan Lung, 32 and a father of five, made the mistake of not logging out of his account after sending sexy e-mails to his new lover, Zhang Hung. Evidently incognito mode didn’t cross his mind.

His wife, Feng Lung, found out and did what any sensible woman would do. Grabbed a pair of scissors, marched into their bedroom and went straight crafts mode on that penis. The good news: doctors were able to reattach Fan’s penis. The bad news: his wife came back for more.  According to the Mirror UK:

…Feng is then reported to have sneaked back into her husband’s hospital room and cut off his penis for a second time, this time throwing it out of a window.

A hospital spokesman said: “The first we were aware of what happened was when someone came into the reception area to say a naked man was beating up a woman outside the hospital.

“Staff rushed out to see what was happening and found the patient with blood streaming down his legs hitting the woman.

“He was stopped and the woman was taken in for treatment, and then we discovered she had chopped his penis off again.”

The husband wasn’t so lucky the second time around. Doctors and police searched outside unsuccessfully for the penis. They think that a STRAY DOG OR CAT ATE IT! So, some dog or cat came across it and thought, “There’s gonna be some gooood eatin’ tonight!”. Then, gobbled up dude’s penis like Purina.

The hospital spokesman added: “The man had lost a lot of blood and was taken in for emergency surgery.

“He is now in a stable condition but is extremely emotionally distraught.”

Oh, ya think? Who doesn’t get distraught over losing their penis. Maybe this dude. At least Fan’s lover is understanding. She still intends to marry him and doesn’t care about the missing penis, she say he’s got five kids already anyway.

The husband shouldn’t worry too much either. Modern medicine is amazing. Doctors grow ears on mice now. Certainly, they can grow penises on their backs too. Just a bunch of caged mice dragging big ol’ penises around and bumping into each other. Wonder if those mice will get ‘distraught’ when doctors snip those penises off their backs.