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Internet Reptilian Conspiracists Admit Surprise at Their Possibly Valid Conspiracy After Teenage YouTuber Makes Gene Simmons Look Tongue Tied

YouTube sideshow, eighteen-year-old Adrianne Lewis has gotten some recent fame for her lizard-like licker. “What are you doing Friday night?” Say all the boys at her school.

Lewis boasts a world-record length 4 inch tongue measured from the tip of the tongue to the top of the lip. This length is .2 inches longer than the current female record holder and possibly .03 inches longer than the male record holder. If you combined all their tongues together, you’d have a really disgusting three-way make out.

On her YouTube channel, Adrianne shows off her tonguey talents: flittering her tongue, licking her elebow, even poking her eye. “We were a little concerned about the YouTube videos at first because we didn’t want it to go weird,” says the mother of the teen who posts videos of her tongue tricks on the Internet.

Motivated by her views, Adrianne plans to make more videos and one day hopes to hold the world record for tongue length. Reach for the stars Adrianne, and by stars we totally mean whatever next weird body part you can reach; ear? Yeah, reach for that.

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