Rebel Wilson — World Class Liar. Former Classmate Reveals the Truth About Her Age and Says She Wasn’t Even Funny!

Do you think Melissa McCarthy fears Rebel Wilson? There can only be one chubby comedienne in Hollywood at a time, that’s the unspoken rule. Now that Pitch Perfect 2 raked in $70m in its opening weekend, Rebel Wilson surely will vault even closer to B-level status. Or closer to McCarthy’s portly perch.

McCarthy’s Tammy only brought in $21m, that’s like, $100,000 a pound. Way too expensive. Meanwhile, Rebel Wilson comes in at about $300,000 a pound. Hollywood’s pretty dumb, but they understand numbers. Wilson’s the new queen of comedic pudge.

But would Hollywood ever give an old, chubby comedienne a chance? Probably not. That’s why according to one of Wilson’s old high school classmates, she had to lie about her whole life to get a shot. Let’s take a look at Wilson’s version of herself:

According to Rebel Wilson, she’s 29, was raised by dog-training “bogan” parents in the “ghetto” of Sydney, spent a year in Zimbabwe, climbed into a cage with a leopard, got caught in a shoot-out and then struck down by a severe strain of Malaria from a mozzie in Mozambique where, from her ICU bed, she envisioned herself winning an Oscar and rapping her acceptance speech.

Now, the truth. Revealed!

…an old classmate says Rebel had a “very normal, upper-middle-class upbringing” and has added a touch of “fantasy” to the life she lead before becoming a household name.

“She’s clearly got a vivid imagination,” laughs our source. “Maybe you have to tell stories to make it in Hollywood!”

Check out Wilson’s high school photo. Gee, try to guess which one she is.

“I studied with Rebel at Tara Anglican School for Girls in North Parramatta, Sydney,” spills the source. “But no-one knew of a Rebel Wilson. Her name is – or was – Melanie Elizabeth Bownds, and she’s 36 – she was born in 1979 and we left school in 1997.”

And the most painful part of her former classmate’s revelation. Wilson wasn’t even funny. What the fuuu..?

“She was definitely not the class clown; none of us remember her being funny,” says the insider. While Rebel paints a picture of a gypsy upbringing, her family home was certainly not in any “ghetto”.

What’s with Australians and lying about their lives? We’re looking at you, Iggy Azalea. Bring back the days of Crocodile Dundee and Steve Irwin! Surely, crocodile hunters are everywhere in Australia, that can’t be a lie also…can it??!?!