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What’s The Best Way to Show Friendship and Good Wishes on a Marriage? Glue Your Pubes to the Groom’s Face

When you live 3,000 miles away from Vegas, what are you really supposed to do for a bachelor party?

Thanks to his friends, bachelor Mark Longley was the test subject for what bachelor parties in West Sussex can bring to the world. Will West Sussex become the new destination for bachelor parties? Probably not.

Somehow, when the events of your night include: having your friends pubes glued to your face and shoved in your ears in a poor man’s werewolf makeover, having your body turned into a canvas for penises, getting taped into a wheelchair, forced into clown shoes, and required to carry around a cabbage with a drawn-on face, there is not mass appeal as a fun night.

Don’t worry, his friends did give him beer (hopefully a lot of beer – so much beer). They even held it up for him and gave him a straw to drink with, a penis straw. His possibly former best friend Steve West was kind enough to upload pictures to the Internet just in case Longley was lucky enough to be blackout drunk during the events of the night.

The question becomes what can the bachleorette party even bring to the table to compete; we wait in anticipation.

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