Florida Woman Commits Burger Battery on Boyfriend

In other burger related news, when you confront your significant other about infidelity, bring a burger. Florida woman (oh Florida, you like a perpetuated stereotype), Rykihia Moore, decided to take out her aggression at her boyfriend, Mario Thornton, by chucking a burger at his face. This well-done revenge clocked Thornton straight in the eye and inevitably landed Moore in the the slammer.

Moore, a Red Robin employee, started beef when confronting Thornton about alleged infidelity. Since the woman  obviously knows her way around a burger (and bottomless fries), she must have instinctively turned to it out of blind aggression.

Moore’s burger battery landed her with a misdemeanor: simple battery dating violence, and a cozy night in jail. In an ode to her uncondoned, yet tasty, actions: hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, battery with a burger will upset us.