There’s one less dope in this world. Devon Staples, 22, celebrated the 4th of July by lighting a mortar tube of fireworks on his head. Guess how this ends? Hint: With a bang. And brains everywhere.
His brother, Cody Staples, said Devon didn’t really mean to light them and that he was just clowning around and lit them by accident. Oh, and yes, drinking was involved.
“There was no rushing him to the hospital. There was no Devon left when I got there,” Cody Staples, 25, told the Daily News as he fought through tears on Sunday. “It was a freak accident … But Devon was not the kind of person who would do something stupid. He was the kind of person who would pretend to do something stupid to make people laugh.”
Actually, turns out Devon was the kind of guy to do something stupid. You know, like pretending to light fireworks on top of your brains. “No Devon left”. That’s very to the point.
No video exists of this stunt, but here’s a dramatic recreation:
Devon also worked at Disney World where he dressed up as Gaston. They will either have to find a new Gaston or introduce Gaston: Reanimated, with stitched together pieces of Devon with a robot chip controlled by technicians 200 yards away.