School Bans Wonder Woman Lunch Box and All Childhood Imagination

Do you find this image offensive? Of course you don’t. Unless you are one of the insanely overbearing staff at whatever school Laura attends. Apparently, at this school, superheroes (you know, the good guys who bring justice to the world and instill positive morals for today’s youth) are defined as “violent characters” and therefore not allowed on any paraphernalia.

I don’t know whether it’s Wonder Woman’s lasso of truth or her love of peace that puts her over the edge, but her overall feminine empowerment is certainly a threat to Laura and all others around her. Thank goodness this school’s backwards priorities are being set; otherwise, kids would be running around thinking that if bad things happened, there would actually be solutions.

Instead, they are learning how to really make it through life: If and when bad things happen, close your eyes and lay on the ground and don’t question them. Just don’t move, or think, or breathe until the negative forces move on. They are like dinosaurs. If you don’t move, they can’t see you.

If I were Daniel or Sarah (Laura’s parents), I would write back:

Dear Administration,

I acknowledge your request, but we are raising Laura to be open-minded and accept people in all forms before discriminating against them. If that means that person is a vigilante in the night, that is his or her prerogative. Laura will wear what she wants, and I would appreciate your cooperation in letting my daughter have a childhood.

Best,

Batman & Batgirl