The upcoming year’s NYC Taxi Driver’s calendar is a raw and animalistic sexual celebration unlike any other found in nature. Check ’em out, ranked in order of nothing. To hell with it.
13. Meet this year’s hottest boy band, Don’t Give Me Directions, featuring Ivan: the sensitive one, Ivan: the sporty one, and Ivan: the one in shorts.
12. Number 12 is clearly Bond Girl material.
11. Move over Kylie Jenner. This woman carries her own goddamn fan and it’s really bringing out her eyes. #NoFilter
10. This taxi driver knows the true meaning of autumnal sensuality. It’s when your bow tie, the leaves covering your sensitive chest raisins, and your car all are seasonally color coordinated.
9. Number 9 has some junk in his trunk, and he wants you to know it.
8. If you’ve ever fantasized about getting down and dirty with the dude driving your taxi, this guy gets you and is here to help.
7. This #deep shot really shows you what it’s like to live the playful and carefree life of a taxi driver. What a deep and meaningful image. It really speaks to me as a lover of art. Confidence truly is sexy.
6. This taxi driver knows what women are into. Pizza. The warm crust, the moist sauce, the virginal and glistening cheese. I’m so hard right now.
5. We would all get wet and wild with fun loving number 5 any day.
4. Even this dude’s license plate knows he fresh to death.
3. It’s like they included two pictures of this fine gentleman because they knew you were gonna be doing a double take. How thoughtful.
2. Coming in at number one is a taxi driver who can definitely melt panties with his mind. So slender and graceful. I bet he knows how to weave in and out of traffic (if you know what I mean).
1. If you don’t tip this guy well, he’ll probably spank you.
