Ben Affleck’s New Back Tattoo Won’t Solve His Mid-Life Crisis

Ben Affleck’s Midlife Crisis Checklist would take years to read at this point. Apparently, just being a desperate middle-aged guy grappling with his lost youth wasn’t enough for him. Boning the nanny and buying the kind of car Guy Fieri would hump openly in public aren’t enough for him. Now he’s gonna look the douchebag part as much as possible with a tattoo that looks like it came off the back of a Hot Topic tee.

A Phoenix rising from the ashes back piece, Ben? Really?

If there wasn’t picture evidence, I would say it’s the punchline to some kinda joke. What kinda heavy-handed shitty metaphor crap is this that I have to acknowledge the existence of? You’re middle-aged Ben. You’re not rising from the ashes. You are slowly turning into them. Get over it.