Megan Fox Is Apparently A Weirdo and Her Kids Will Turn Out the Same

Megan Fox has decided that electricity is witchcraft and social media is the devil, and that her kids are gonna grow up starting fires with their bare hands and will only be allowed to communicate via smoke signal and pigeon. She recently told ET:

“My kids, in particular, I’m enrolling them in a school where technology is not allowed until they’re much older. Then they’re introduced to computers and things like that, because they will need that eventually to function in the real world. But, as children, they shouldn’t be around it at all, in my opinion, and so my kids won’t have cell phones, or tablets, or any of that.” 

Kids love iPads, Megan. You know what your kids won’t love, you imposing some kind of stone age technological cockblock on their lives.

“It interferes with brain development. I’m really big into this, very passionate about it. I’m very passionate about it, in general, because it’s such a platform for, not just bullying, but body shaming, for making people feel badly about themselves, and Instagram has turned into… it’s really just an art page where everyone edits their photos.”

What does Megan Fox know about brain development? Seriously. I want to know her sources on this.

“It’s a curated version of their reality. What is the point? Unless you’re promoting something, or unless you’re selling something, I don’t understand why teenagers need to be on Instagram making their boobs look big… what is happening to the world?”

As somebody who made their money being Michael Bay’s token hot chick, Megan Fox is 100% in a place to be judging teenagers on their social media habits. Looks like it’s time to send someone to the home.