Henry Cavill Dumps Teenage Girlfriend

She was probably cutting into all that time Henry Cavill needs to go f**k himself.

Henry Cavill, known generally for being a smarmy and unlikable dick both on and off screen, has ditched his child bride, Tara King. This is only weeks after he got all weepy talking about how she protects him from the cold dark reality of reviewers tearing his Superman apart for being smarmy and unlikable.

According to The Sun, he’s basically friendzoned this lone beacon of light in his dreary universe, and even invited her to his birthday party after breaking up with her, which is pretty weird of him.

I’ll bet you he’s just tryna keep her on the hook for sex while he smarms his way in and out of every vagina in his path.

Later Cavill. Try to f**k somebody who’s not still turning in homework next time.