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Amanda Bynes Is Normal and That’s Not as Much Fun

Here’s some good news for the day: Amanda Bynes is still alive. The What I Like About You star returned to the screen to give her first interview in four years since she went all crazy and was in and out of rehab.

Right off the bat, you’ll notice that she looks normal. She looks like the Amanda Bynes we all fell in love with. Just a little older.

In the most shocking reveal, Bynes said she was being sincere when she asked Drake to “murder her vagina.”

“That was my way of saying, ‘let’s do it, man.’ But I was on drugs and trying to be hilarious.”

Whatever her reasoning, I just know that, “I want to murder your vagina” has been my most successful pick-up line on Tinder.

Bynes also admitted to stealing Blac Chyna’s look. She also stole her career these last four years.

Here are some other highlights:

“I do miss acting and I have something surprising to tell you: I’m going to start acting again. I want to do TV. Maybe a few guest spots on some shows that I’m a fan of and maybe another TV show where I’m the star of it.”

I’m a fan of a lot of shows, think they’ll just allow me to do a guest spot? Who am I kidding, Bynes will get as many guest spots as she wants and she can star in five different shows because Hollywood forgives and forgets anything and everything. Except you, Bill Cosby.

“I’ve been going to school lately. Fashion school. FIDM [Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising] and I love it. I learned how to sew. I’ve made patterns and I want to start a clothing line in the future.”

This is the fallback for every single celebrity. Whether you’re a singer or an actor, you’re always a fashion icon who should have their own fashion line. A line of Amanda Bynes bikinis might not do so bad, honestly.

“I hike, I take spinning classes and I feed the homeless,”

I like how she sneaks in, “I feed the homeless” at the end. “I do great things to stay in shape and stay sober. By the way, I’m also a great person. Feeding the homeless is proof.” How about you give them a home.

RIP Crazy Amanda Bynes. You provided us with a lot of laughs. Except the incest molestation claims.

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