The Blemish

Angelina Jolie Cries in the Shower

By , 11:00 AM on Jan 13, 2012, 2 Comments

’s newest film, and directorial debut, In the Land of Blood and Honey, stressed her out quite a bit. Jolie reveals in a live-streamed webchat about the film:

“I had a complete emotional breakdown in the shower. and Brad found me just crying. I suddenly felt the responsibility and I felt very small and, who am I to take this on? And think that I could make a difference? What have I done? … I had a complete meltdown.” US Magazine

Sheesh. Actresses suuure are high-strung. Granted, making a movie about love during the Bosnian War isn’t quite the cakewalk as Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (13% on Rotten Tomatoes, which seems quite high), but you need more reasons to cry in the shower than being pampered on a movie set with catered food and a trailer at your disposal. Reasons like having sex for the first time.

Wouldn’t it be great if magically appeared anytime someone cried in the shower? As soon as you curl up fetus-like on the shower floor, an aura of yellow light and a gentle hand would rest on your shoulder. “Br-Br-?” “Yes, my child. It is I, . You may remember me from such movies as Moneyball and The Tree of Life. Get them now on DVD.” And poof! He vanishes into the mist.

Video starts at 3:00.

Tags: #angelina jolie #brad pitt

Katy Perry Seeks New Manmeat

By , 10:00 AM on Jan 13, 2012, 2 Comments

Looks like ’s gotten over the whole marriage to Russell Brand thing. According to US Weekly, Perry is “all about moving on now”.

How polite of US Weekly. They should’ve just said she’s ready to bang. Brand and Perry’s marriage lasted 14 months, which appears to be the time for the novelty of double D’s to wear off.

Tags: #katy perry

Tila Tequila: ‘I Vanna Be a Jew’

By , 9:09 AM on Jan 13, 2012, 4 Comments

Publicity whore Tila Tequila is running out of ways to get press/make a spectacle of herself, as she’s now decided to convert to Judaism. TMZ reports the elfin one has been spotted at a NY temple, taking classes to begin her conversion. As Tequila puts it:

“As time passed, I started to become more and more fascinated with Kabbalah, the culture, and the way of life of the reform Judaism religion…

I just feel like the Jewish people have such a beautiful way about them, and I can’t wait to officially be Jewish! Shabbat Shalom.” TMZ

Millions of rabbis across the world just screamed “Awww, Hell’s NO!” in unison.

Tags: #tila tequila

Guess Which Star Will Ruin the Super Bowl?

By , 8:54 AM on Dec 05, 2011, 0 Comments

Past Super Bowl halftime performers have included The Who, Bruce Springsteen, The Rolling Stones and Paul McCartney. Unfortunately, now that list will include Madge herself as they welcome her prerecorded tracks to this year’s Super Bowl in Indianapolis. Just pray for no Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction. Squeezing that old woman’s boob back in her dress will be like putting a fart back in your butt. Not gonna happen.

Understandably, the Super Bowl wants mainstream entertainment, but was not available? The only thing and football have in common is that both are made of leather and plastic. Football is all about a beer-chuggin’, burger-eatin’, hootin’ and hollerin’ good time. Having at the Super Bowl makes as much as sense as having Jerry Sandusky on Sesame Street.

Tags: #madonna #super bowl

Khloe Kardashian Allegedly Assaulted a Trannie

By , 8:28 AM on Dec 05, 2011, 1 Comment

Can’t get any love? Kim, though divorcing, made millions off her “marriage”. Kourtney’s having a 2nd baby. What about Khloe you say?

Younger sister Khloe, 27, is being sued by a transgender woman who claims the reality star assaulted her outside a Hollywood nightclub two years ago…

In the lawsuit, Spears says Khloe struck her “in and about her body,” although TMZ reports no one was arrested at the time.”NYDN

Striking someone in and about their body sounds sinister. It’s like she’s a Kung Fu Yeti who can cripple your organs without even touching you. She just needs a long white beard to stroke. And subtitles.

Tags: #khloe kardashian

Angelina Jolie Is a Catty Homewrecker

By , 9:37 AM on Nov 16, 2009, 8 Comments

Surprised? According to US Weekly, Angelina has actively sabotaged Jennifer Aniston by planting stories about her in the press.

Brangelina: The Untold Story of and reports that , 34, waged “a mean-spirited but effective campaign” against Jennifer Aniston around the time that divorced her to be with Jolie.

Author Ian Halperin asserts in his book that Jolie and her camp (including her manager Geyer Kosinski and brother James Haven) planted press stories in 2005 that painted Aniston in a negative light. Specifically? That Aniston firmly prioritized her career over starting a family — which put her directly at odds with Pitt, who ached for kids.

Jolie, Halperin writes, “was convinced that this is the story that would resonate with all these women who saw her as a man-stealing bitch.”

Well, it worked, didn’t it. Now, we think of Jennifer Aniston as this pathetic shrew who can’t hold onto a man or get over . Aniston needs better and more ruthless PR people. I would spin Angelina as someone who collects children for attention and only does it to boost her reputation as some United Nations humanitarian.

Let’s get real. Aniston, despite all her faults, is way more genuine than Angelina. It’s better to really, really want to have one child as opposed to adopting ten of them just to fill a void.

C’mon Jennifer. Nut up and fight. Ready? “Team” on 3! 1-2-3 Team!!

Tags: #angelina jolie #brad pitt #jennifer aniston
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