The Blemish » What Better than a slap to the face Sat, 01 Nov 2014 00:31:54 +0000 en-US hourly 1 My Uber Is Down There! Fri, 31 Oct 2014 08:38:48 +0000 If you ever wanted to find a video that would summarize San Francisco, look no further than this one taken during the riots after the SF Giants won the World Series on Wednesday.

As police in riot gear clear the streets, one woman was brave enough to plead with them, “My Uber is down there!”

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This TIFU Was a Real Fuckup Thu, 30 Oct 2014 18:05:20 +0000 For the uninitiated, TIFU is an acronym for Today I Fucked Up where redditors post stories about… how they fucked up today. Pretty self-explanatory. Usually they’re stories about how they ran into a pole or jerked off onto their son’s homework. Nothing too life shattering. Then came this which could possibly one of the Top 10 Greatest Fuckups of All Time. Just read the story.

Well, I suppose this fuck up has happened today, and has been happening everyday for the past seventeen years.

About seventeen years ago my wife and I adopted a baby from an Asian American family. While we knew very little details, basically what happened with them is that we learned they were too young for children. I made very little inquiries as (they seemed embarrassed/I didn’t want to pry). I was just excited to have a son and couldn’t have cared less about the parent’s history, besides their current and future well being. So as long as they were healthy and willing to gift me with their child, I really did not go too much into their histories. This was my major fuck up. My wife and I choose to adopt this baby because we felt for the parents and anyone that has been through the adoption process knows that it is much easier to get a non-white baby than it is to get a white one (which is fucked up IMO) and we wanted one NOW and didn’t want to be on a wait list.

Anyway we adopt this beautiful, loving, affectionate and incredible baby. It’s truly love at first sight for all of us. Around about eight months we start to feel a little bit of guilt about not raising him in his on ethnic culture and given that we live in an area with a major Chinese population, it would be very easy to introduce him to his roots. So for the next seventeen years we do everything we can to honor his ethnicity. We send him to Chinese language courses and by five he’s fluent in Mandarin and English, he gets an “adopted” by a Chinese aunt and uncle (they taught him cultural things and celebrate certain holidays and take him for dim sum every couple of weeks). We’ve been taking him to China every two years since he was eight. We weren’t trying to force him to take up his culture as an “other” in our family, but we didn’t want to rob him of it or completely whitewash him either. We try and be PC as possible and we thought we were doing the right thing.

He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me and my wife. There is not a day were I don’t just look at him and smile warmly. I love him.

Anyway we are filling out his college apps/financial aid applications and doing that whole thing. I go to my home office and go through some files and find his old adoption records. I’m not really paying much attention to them and then his biological parents surnames pop out and basically punch me in the face. His parent’s last names were PARK AND KIM. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

For those of you that do not know, those are Korean last names. My son is not Chinese. Not even a little bit.

He’s Korean.

I suppose I just assumed it because we live in an area on the west coast where there are a lot of Chinese immigrants and Chinese-Americans have been living for generations and generations. I don’t always assume every Asian is Chinese, but I did assume this for my son. Now I have a seventeen year old Korean son that thinks he’s Chinese. Now that I look at him, he looks INCREDIBLY Korean in comparassion to all of the photos of Korean men that I have just googled. Very square jaw, less hooded eyes, very broad build. None of this ever crossed my mind. I’ve dedicated nearly two decades to helping my son be close to roots that aren’t even his. I realize that I’ve just been fucking up. I feel like a complete asshole to the nth degree. I’m that dumb liberal white dickhead. Fuck.

I have yet to disclose this to my son or wife.

I honestly don’t even know if I will.

TL;DR: Assumed my son was Chinese and I’ve spent his whole life playing homage to his roots, he’s Korean.

“Hey, son. You know the racial identity we foisted on you and immersed you in for 17 years? Turns out it was the wrong one. Oops.” Thanks, dad!

Note: Header image of Kang Ye Bin has nothing to do with the post. She’s just really hot.

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Porn Star Escapes Rape by Jumping Out of Window and Breaking Both Her Legs Thu, 30 Oct 2014 17:07:55 +0000 Lola Taylor, 22, thought it was just going to be another porn shoot with two Russians, Dmitry Kosenkov, 30, and Maksim Pilipenko, 33. What ended up happening was anything but. Taylor had agreed to meet the two men who said they were planning to make a movie and had asked her over for an interview.

When Taylor went to their apartment, the two handcuffed her and repeatedly raped her for hours. It was only when they got tired that she saw her chance to escape. Taylor jumped out the window and landed on the street breaking both her legs.

She landed in front of a neighbor, Blasius Vinogradov, who was walking his dog. This was not the angel from heaven he was praying for.

I was just minding my own business when this blonde girl with torn clothes and bleeding mouth hit the ground. She was unconscious and it was clear she had broken both her legs. I didn’t know what was going on, but I knew it wasn’t good.

Really? You knew a blonde girl that fell from the sky and broke both her legs and was bleeding from the mouth wasn’t good? What mighty powers of observation you have there, Sherlock.

The two men tried to clean up her blood but failed to throw away her ripped clothing. The two are being detained for three months before their trial.

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Now Here’s Porn Star Kayden Kross Catcalling Guys Wed, 29 Oct 2014 17:50:05 +0000 While before we had hidden camera footage of guy’s catcalling a girl, here’s porn star Kayden Kross standing on a Burbank corner catcalling guys. It only makes dudes uncomfortable about half the time. The other half of the time their penises take over and they just go with it thinking they’ll be able to get some. This wasn’t really meant to “turn the tables” on men. If they wanted to do that, they’d get a big, flaming gay minority to catcall the guys who catcall girls.

(H/T Drunken Stepfather)

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Woman From Viral Catcalling Video Getting Rape Threats Wed, 29 Oct 2014 17:04:55 +0000 On Tuesday, a camera followed a woman wearing jeans and a crew neck t-shirt around Manhattan capturing all the catcalls she got. The video was for the Hollaback, a campaign hoping to curb street harassment. What was interesting was 90% of the harassment came from people sitting down with seemingly nothing better to do. Then there’s the couple of creepy guys who just follow her which would be terrifying for anyone because people like that have no concept of what’s socially acceptable and you have no idea what they’re going to do.

Anyway, she’s getting rape threats now because of course she is. This is the internet. Even people who put up videos of their cats get rape threats. I’m not sure what they were expecting. An intelligent discussion? How long have they been doing this internet thing? Did they think it was all puppies and rainbows?

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Parents in the 60s Partying to Rap Is the Best Thing Ever Tue, 28 Oct 2014 19:59:34 +0000 You think you know ratchet? You don’t know ratchet. You know who knows ratchet? Old white people from the 60s.

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They Laughed When I Got On Stage But When I Started to Play! Mon, 27 Oct 2014 20:34:01 +0000 …They just sort of sat there in stunned silence.

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And Now LeVar Burton Reading ‘Go the Fuck to Sleep’ Mon, 27 Oct 2014 17:51:30 +0000 Rooster Teeth raised more than $240,000 for Children’s Miracle Network hospitals. The importance of that? $240,000 for the Children’s Miracle Network hospitals! Also, LeVar Burton read Go the Fuck to Sleep as promised. Totally worth it.

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That’s Some Good Police Work, NYPD Fri, 24 Oct 2014 07:02:58 +0000 While transit cops were trying to subdue a suspect at a Coney Island subway station for skipping a fare, officers from the 60th precinct came over to help. One of them, an undercover cop, did his part by kicking the suspect in the head. Except, the head wasn’t of the suspect, it was of his fellow officer. Oops.

Well, you know what they say. Second time’s a charm. The same cop went into the scuffle and then punched the suspect in the face until he got him into cuffs.

The cop is currently under investigation by Internal Affairs because I guess kicking your colleague in the head and then beating a suspect into submission isn’t proper protocol.

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Jahleel Addae Suffered a Stinger But Sort of Looks Like a Concussion Fri, 24 Oct 2014 06:51:26 +0000 The Broncos beat the Chargers in tonight’s Thursday Night Football game with an assist from the refs, but that’s neither here nor there. What everyone should be looking at are the two hits Jahleel Addae took during the game. The first one caused him to crumple to the ground like he was knocked out.

The second one looked like it gave him a traumatic brain injury causing him to dance the robot.

Reports are saying a concussion test was done on the sideline and he passed and that he had just suffered a stinger.

But, uh, jesus. That may be the worst stinger I’ve ever seen. After that second hit he took, he looked like Lindsay Lohan at closing time. And that’s something you do NOT want to look like at any point in your life.

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