The Blemish » What Better than a slap to the face Thu, 18 Sep 2014 01:09:57 +0000 en-US hourly 1 ‘Friends’ Coffee Shop Attracts Long Line of Boring People Wed, 17 Sep 2014 21:25:20 +0000 A replica of the Central Perk coffee shop opened today at Lafayette and Broome Streets to commemorate the premiere of Friends in September, 1994. Hundreds of excited lame-Os lined up around the block.

Inside Central Perk, which will be open through October 18, customers can drink free coffee and see memorabilia from the show.

Even if you never thought Friends was funny, you should still stop by. You could meet a boring person, fall in reasonable love, and get married. Boring people are the best to have a home and family with after you’ve gotten all the drunken sex with chaotic scumbags and douchettes out of your system.

(H/T Defamer)

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TMNT Used to be Weird Wed, 17 Sep 2014 05:34:02 +0000 During this old Oprah interview with the original cast of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, you can pinpoint the exact instant a child loses his innocence.

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Guy Gets Robbed at Gunpoint While His GoPro Is Filming Wed, 17 Sep 2014 00:32:47 +0000 According to the story posted on Reddit, a friend is currently on a trip to every country in the world. One of the stops was Buenos Aires where he went on a guided bike tour organized by the hostel he was staying at. They were biking through a dangerous area when a thief noticed his camera attached to his backpack. The guy on the motorcycle tried to ambush the bicyclist.

Because of the language barrier, the guy had no idea what he was saying so he just rode off. It wasn’t until the thief caught up to him and waved a gun at him did he realize what was up.

The tour leader notified a nearby cop and reported it. Luckily, the GoPro was recording and they got a clear image of the thief. They say he was captured two days later.

It still remains unclear if the thief was an “amigo.”

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Damn Nature, You a Jerk Tue, 16 Sep 2014 23:51:44 +0000 Enjoy this beautiful moment of a butterfly landing on a flutist’s face and basically telling her, “Yea, take it, bitch. Take it. You like that? You like that?!” That butterfly is a total dick.

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This Girl Really Does Not Like Littering Tue, 16 Sep 2014 23:46:00 +0000 If Hit Girl and Captain Planet had a baby, this would be that girl. Drop a cigarette on the ground? How about a lap full of ash? Place an unfinished bag of McDonald’s on the floor? Enjoy the leftovers splattered all over your body. This girl has seen enough and she’s not going to take it lying down. Not in my house, pal! (My house being earth in this scenario)

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Coke Bringing Back That Beloved Mountain Dew Competitor Surge Tue, 16 Sep 2014 21:30:19 +0000 Fantastic news people who’ve decided not to drink Mountain Dew on principle. Coke is bringing back its Mountain Dew competitor, Surge, in limited quantities. While supplies last, you can buy the green glop in a can at The cost: $14 for a 12-pack of 16 oz cans.

Surge first appeared in 1996 as a competitor to Pepsi’s Mountain Dew. Surge ended its run in 2001 five years after people forgot it existed.

A big win for the Surge Movement guys and hopefully this inspires Pepsi to bring back the real king of soft drinks, Crystal Pepsi. That drink was legit.

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Colombian Women’s Cycling Team Might as Well Be Naked Tue, 16 Sep 2014 17:51:20 +0000 New uniforms worn by members of the Bogotá, Colombia, women’s cycling team have prompted widespread concern, even among people who don’t care about cycling (which is everyone), because of the uniforms’ flesh-toned vaj area.

Critics are calling it “the worst uniform of all time,” while pervs are calling it “the best uniform of all time.”

A Colombian men’s cycling team in 2010 also went for the naked look. Give the Colombians credit – they don’t just build vicious drug empires – they also like to play peek-a-boo with cyclists’ genitals.


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Guy Frankensteins Amateur YouTube Musicians to Make This Sat, 13 Sep 2014 03:55:15 +0000 Normally when 23 strangers attempt to perform together, it’s either the worst kind of noise you can imagine or a bukakke session. This is neither of those. YouTube user Kutiman hobbled clips from 23 different YouTube singers and musicians to make something that sounds much, much better.

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Self-Entitled L.A. Parents Send Walking Death-Bombs to School Fri, 12 Sep 2014 22:44:58 +0000 According to The Hollywood Reporter, dipshit Vegan granola-heads are refusing to vaccinate their kids in record numbers, destroying the social safety net that protects us from horrible old-school diseases.

Remember when noted neuroscientist and titty-exposer Jenny McCarthy said that vaccines made her kid autistic, even though a bunch of studies show that vaccines don’t cause autism? Well, so many Los Angeles parents, especially fancy folks who live in West L.A., have fallen for anti-vaccination bullshit that their pampered, germ-laden little ones have helped cause epidemics of measles and whooping cough (which can kill you).

The Hollywood Reporter story contains scary charts and maps and numbers, if you like that kind of stuff.

Turns out going to a normal school with the regular kids of non-famous people has a silver lining – you mostly don’t die, except of boredom.

People with whooping cough look gross, so instead, here’s a shot of fun, sexy angel of death Jenny McCarthy.

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Yoga Pants Kick Jeans in Their Flabby Ass Thu, 11 Sep 2014 23:29:44 +0000 According to a report from the AP, sales of jeans are down 6 percent over the past year, while sales of yoga wear are up 45 percent. Actual attendance in yoga class is up only one-tenth of that, so we can assume there are plenty of delightfully horrible asses flopping around in yoga pants.

Among the factors in the rise of yoga pants are changing standards of acceptable attire, comfort, versatility, and the thrill of bending over and accidentally revealing everything to some random dude.

So, random dudes, consider investing in some Starbucks gift cards and scattering them on the ground outside your local yoga studio. Or just sign up for a yoga class.

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