MTV posted a highlight of last night’s episode of Jersey Shore and what a highlight it was. The clip shows Snooki telling everyone on the dance floor she peed herself before rushing into the ladies room and spraying her taint with perfume aka a Shore Shower. My god, a single tear just left R. Kelly’s eye. The only question he has is why there was no one underneath her? You can’t let good pee go to waste.
Madonna is considering retiring (yes, yes, keep going) from acting (well, at least that’s something) and instead will focus more on directing (aw, son of a).
Madonna says, “I like directing better. If I write it and direct it, then it’s my voice. If I’m the actor, I’m just a pawn.”
Not to mention you’re a terrible f**king actor. Sure, there’s Evita, but that was mostly a musical and sort of a novelty. People eat that stuff up. She followed that up with Body of Evidence, Shanghai Surprise, Swept Away and Die Another Day and won a Golden Rasberry for Worst Actress of the Century in 2000. No one has wanted to see her act in 12 years. This is like saying I’m retiring from playing basketball.
Keira Knightley practiced her sex faces in a mirror for two days straight to nail a scene in A Dangerous Method where she’s violently spanked. As if there were any other kind of spanking. She eventually showed them to director David Cronenberg over Skype to see which one he liked.
“It was a huge part of what Sabina was doing a lot of the time. So I asked psychoanalysts about it and they said, ‘Sex and anything like that is trying to release energy, trying to release pent-up emotion’.
“So I worked with that and sat in my bathroom and pulled faces at myself for about two days, trying to figure out what it was going to be.
“Then I got on Skype with David and went, ‘I’ve come up with this’, or, ‘I’ve come up with this’, and he went, ‘That one!’” Contact Music
Afterward, David said, “Mmm, yea. Now come over and sit on my face. Oh, what? Haha, jk!” That Cronenberg is a real perv.
Judging by the trailers for Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, it’ll be a terrible movie. The only saving grace is The Rock is in it and to a lesser extent Vanessa Hudgens. The Rock reprises his role from Witch Mountain while Vanessa just runs around and looks pretty. Coincidentally, that’s what my dates do at the end of the night when I drive them to the middle of the desert.
Today is celebrity hair day on The Blemish. What whacky, look-at-me styles will they think up of next? How about Rihanna, who bleached her hair and threw on some extensions for her Elle cover shoot?
On a scale of 1 to attention whore, I give this a 3, or, as John Travolta would say, “2 finger snaps and a nuh-uh girlfriend.”
A female shaving their head isn’t just limited to a broken-down Britney Spears, a clinically depressed Sinead O’Connor or the social ladder climbing Amber Rose anymore. 11-year-old daughters of celebrities are doing it too. Namely, Willow Smith, who seems to have gotten tired of whipping her hair back and forth so she shaved her head and posted the pic on WhoSay.
Force her to sing Getting Jiggy With It and, apart from the whole dying of embarrassment thing, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between her and her dad.
