The Blemish

Ke$ha Makes Her Assistant Dance for Her in a Penis Costume

Working for Ke$ha is a dream come true. Especially when she gets sad and makes you dance for her in a penis outfit to cheer her up.

“I’m just very amused by 5-year-old humor,” she said. “Don’t get me wrong: I do destroy men on a weekly basis. It’s like a hobby. I’m like a praying mantis. They f**k me, and then I eat them.

“But who isn’t amused by a giant, dancing penis? Sometimes when I’m sad, I make my assistant put on the penis outfit and bounce around my house.”

The penis outfit is used by Ke$ha when she performs Cannibal track ‘Grow A Pear’ on her ‘Get Sleazy Tour’.

Asked if it is harder to succeed in rock as a woman, she added: “I know that I have balls. I have bigger balls than a lot of the men that I meet.

“I’m just a ballsy motherf**ker. I’m not afraid of pushing boundaries. That’s what you have to do to become an icon.”

Ke$ha later added: “Eventually, I would love to be on my deathbed and looked at as an icon. Right now I’m still at the baby stages of my career. But that is the goal.” Digital Spy

This chick tries so hard that you can’t help but just shake your head and laugh. This poor, poor girl doesn’t realize how sad she is.

Paz de la Huerta Won’t Return

Last we left on Boardwalk Empire, she went out for some milk but never came back. And don’t expect her to because HBO has opted not to pick up her season 3 contract option. Paz, who played Lucy, joins Michael Pitt, Dabney Coleman and Aleska Palladino as the fourth original cast member to not return.

This is good news for Paz. Now she can get drunk whenever without work and dignity getting in the way. And maybe now her reps will get off her case. Sheesh. If it was up to them, she’d never be able to embarrass herself again.

Web Finds

Durex Is Into Dark Humor

You can pretty much tell why this commercial was banned from being aired during the Super Bowl about 2 seconds into it. The point is making is “use a condom, you whore, or you could give birth to the next mass murderer.” Which is pretty grim. I mean, what if the chick gives birth to the next Denzel Washington? Sure, there’ll be a little anger at first because her partner isn’t black and he’s already been put on the birth certificate but that anger will eventually subside as he drinks himself into depression. But just think, in 35 years, that kid may become the sixth black man to win an Oscar.

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Cee Lo Green Dieting to Avoid Death

Deaths of fellow friends Heavy D and Patrice O’Neal have finally shocked enough to go on a diet. Those deaths were like an episode of Scared Straight for fat people. Cee Lo tells Rolling Stone magazine that he notices similarities between Heavy D and Patrice and has finally decided to lose some weight so he can be around for his son. Black Liberace is probably also tired of those fat jokes unlike Christina Aguilera whose skin has increased in thickness much like her thighs.

However, Cee Lo admits some of his fans may not be too thrilled. “I don’t want to disappoint the ladies. They truly do love me just as I am.” Because the ladies love watching a short fat dude waddle around on stage wearing a glittery muumuu. He practically has to wear galoshes wherever he goes because women just gush when he walks by.

Rihanna and Chris Brown Partied Together

Reports say and Chris Brown were spotted together again. This time at Greystone Manor in West Hollywood. Hollywood Life says the weekly rumors that and Chris are partying together is an elaborate plan by the two of them. “They knew it was going to cause a scene and they actually are enjoying the fallout from it,” says a source.

Was the “source” Chris Brown? And is the next “report” going to be that put on makeup to “fake” a black eye? Because this could be an ingenious method of covering up an abusive relationship.