A follower by the name of @MyBestAssets threw down the gauntlet to 50 Cent on Twitter. She laid down a bet saying that if the Giants lose the Super Bowl, 50 would put his “d*ck on the twitter” and if they win, she’ll post her boobs and face. All 50 Cent heard was “boobs” so obviously challenge accepted! 50 Cent simply replied with an “Ok.”

I tried to do this once on my Twitter. I promised nudes of myself if the Niners got to the Super Bowl. My 5 followers all un-followed me the day of the bet. Very funny, guys. C’mon, it’s safe to follow me again, alright?

The Game has had a busy week. First a restaurant refused to seat him unless he wore sleeves and then he went on VLADTV and spouted a conspiracy theory about closeted homosexuals spreading AIDS to straight men.

Now he’s responded to TMZ’s criticism surrounding the VLADTV interview by tweeting “@TMZ but look around, shit I be surprised when I see someone who’s not GAY. My girl hair stylist is GAY & he kool. @50cent GAY n we was kool”

Oh snap. This is the equivalent of The Game raising his hand for a high five and then quickly pulling it back, nonchalantly combing his head with his hand and saying “Psyche!” to 50 Cent.

Considering 50 isn’t a fan of gays himself, expect a thoroughly thought out but poorly written, nonsensical response in 140 characters or less.

50 Cent was shot 9 times, or 3 if you read the police report, but none of that compares to the pain of Chelsea Handler stomping all over his heart with a pair of Crocs.

According to Us, Chelsea dumped 50 before the holidays and left him weeping like a widdle baby. It said “heartbroken” but I read between the lines. 50 Cent even tried to win her back by spending Christmas sending her gifts. Gifts that Chelsea all sent back with a note that read, “I can buy my own gifts.”

Chelsea has since moved on to Uma Thurman’s ex, Andre Balazs. They were seen kissing at Bing Bar on January 22 at Sundance.

When I think of 50 Cent and his bulletproof vest, the first thing that comes to mind is him sobbing into his stuffed animals after getting dumped. So this makes perfect sense. Especially since he was dumped by Chelsea Handler. She’s quite the catch (ers mitt).

Chelsea Handler posted the picture above of her and 50 Cent in bed together with the caption “I don’t know why anyone thinks I would ever date a rapper,” thus proving once in for all they may or may not be dating. Consider all your questions answered and this case, closed. Good day, sir. I said, good day, sir!

*Waves hand in front of face* This never happened. Chelsea Handler took to Twitter to deny rumors that she’s dating 50 Cent. “Everyone, calm down. I met with mr. Cent about a potential project. There’s nothing to report yet, ill let you know if there is,” tweeted Chelsea.

Earlier, a source told Us, “It’s been going on a while. It’s more of a hookup thing — whenever they are in the same town.”

Did anyone else get shivers down their spine imagining 50 Cent and Chelsea Handler have sex. 50 Cent mumbles everything he says like he can’t be bothered to finish a sentence. Chelsea is just annoying. Sex between them would be like a turtle humping a chihuahua with a bedazzled vagina.

Twitter’s biggest troll 50 Cent and Chelsea Handler were photographed at the Blue Nile jazz bar in New Orleans Sunday night on a supposed date. TMZ says they were all up in each others grills. According to the book of slang I got for Christmas, that means they were getting “hot and heavy.”

I wonder how the date went when Chelsea busted out the black people jokes or is that something you’re only supposed to joke about in a room of non-black people. Hm, that may explain this black eye I have.

50 Cent recently tweeted, “If you a man and your over 25 and you don’t eat pu**y just kill your self damn it. The world will be a better place. Lol” And because people think you’re talking about them every time someone says something, there was outrage from gay activists. Yikes. Calm down. 50 Cent clarified in a series of tweets afterward,

The other night I made a joke about a blow job. My male followers enjoyed it. So I then went on to joke about women receiving the same. Some how they turned a simple joke about oral sex into a anti gay statement. I have nothing against people who choose and alternative lifestyle in fact iv publicly stated my mom loved women. It funny how people think negative statements are news worthy but positive statements are not worthy of coverage. Access holly wood for got to put laughing out loud lol that was at the end of that statement.

Huffington Post points out that the apology was just as offensive because 50 said gays “choose an alternative lifestyle.” I’ll let you in on a little secret. No one should take 50 Cent seriously. He’s trolling Twitter. Anything he says is designed to be obliviously offensive. You know that person on the forums who always says the dumbest, racist things? That’s not a 14-year-old suburban white kid. That’s 50 Cent with too much time on his hands.

Perez Hilton tweeted over the weekend that 50 Cent was a douchebag. This wouldn’t be news in itself because nobody cares about Perez Hilton but 50 Cent decided to respond with a joke. It was a little over the top but proved effective.

50 Cent tweeted the picture above with the caption “Perez hilton calld me douchebag so I had my homie shoot up a gay wedding. wasnt his but still made me feel better.”

Of course, Perez always has to have the last word so he responded, “50 Cent joking about violence towards gays is about as expired as the days when he used to be musically relevant.”

Apparently 50 Cent has nothing better to do than hang out on Twitter all day so he posted another picture with the caption, “Now the Pink suit mafia is making threats! Fuck dat I ain’t never scared.”

Then 50 told Perez to calm down and his next song will make his “sweet ass” dance. Then Perez said 50 Cent is gay because he talked about his “sweet ass”. And thus concludes As the Twitterverse Turns.

That was exciting, right? I was on the edge of my seat the entire time.

Uh, 50? Filming for The Head is thataway.

50 Cent is trying to pull off the greatest Oscar-bait of all time. Dropping 50 pounds to play a football player diagnosed with cancer in Things Fall Apart. This will for sure make the monocles pop out of the Academy’s eyes. From ThisIs50 via Superficial:

50 Cent lost a lot of weight for his upcoming movie “Things Fall Apart”. In the movie 50 Cent plays a football player diagnosed with cancer. He dropped from 214 pounds to an astonishing 160 with a liquid diet and three-hour-a-day treadmill walks for nine weeks.

“I was starving.” Now he’s back on tour and says, “I’ve been eating. I’ll be back in shape in no time!”

Will this be like Jamie Foxx’s Ray? Will 50 mumble his way to a golden statue?  How much satisfaction will 50′s friends derive from watching him cry like a pussy? How often will they remind him of that fact? So many questions. So few answers!

Last night, Paris Hilton attended a pre-Super Bowl party for 944 magazine whose next issue’s cover features a topless Paris. During 50 Cent’s performance and after being given a “shout out” to by 50, Paris decided to climb onstage and start dancing. Bad idea because 50 told her to “Get the fuck off my stage.” At which point, Paris blithered between chocked sobs, “But it’s my party!” Sad face. Her people tried to make it so no one could take pictures of her crying, but Page Six was there.

Bwahahahahahahahah. Sorry, hold on. Bwaahahahhahahahhhah. God, it’s difficult to type when you’re laughing so hard. If Paris was anymore desperate for attention, she’d pick a random guy from the audience and fellate him. The only reason she didn’t is 50 Cent told her to “Get the fuck off my stage.”

Supposed video below. I have my doubts:

Mary J. Blige, 50 Cent, Timbaland, Wyclef Jean and actor Tyler Perry have all been accused of ordering steroids and HGH [human growth hormones] from doctors and pharmacists according to an article by the Albany Times Union. The stars supposedly used fake names to be prescribed the drugs by a doctor out of Florida. None of them are being accused of doing anything wrong. Mary J. Blige denied these reports.

“Mary J. Blige has never taken any performance-enhancing illegal steroids,” the singer’s spokeswoman Karynne Tencer told the Daily News.

This is a sad day indeed. I know you guys can never be naturally as strong and chiseled as me, but that’s no reason to take anabolics or HGH. Be happy with what you are; a wrinkly pipsqueak with muscles of an 8 year old and eye-bags of a 60 year old. Trust me. Being so genetically awesome isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Ha. Who am I kidding? It’s the greatest thing ever. I wanted to make you feel better, but why play this charade? You wouldn’t lie about banging a supermodel would you? Of course not. Coincidentally, I banged a supermodel yesterday. I am teh win.

Lance Bass and 50 Cent are embroiled in a bitter war over the predicted success of their respective books. 50 Cent is releasing “50 x 50″ while Lance Bass is releasing “Out of Sync”, both of which are being released on the same day. The two even held competing release parties on the same day. Lance said,

“50′s going down, that’s all I have to say.”

Lance cites his relationship with men and space training as a couple reasons his book will outdo 50′s. Meanwhile, 50 Cent just realized what Lance meant by him going down. 50 responded, “Ew, icky icky,” while he flailed his arms in the air like a little girl who just saw a spider.