Comic Book Resources leaked a picture of what Harvey Dent aka Two-Face may look like in the new Batman movie. It’s awesome. Mostly because it’s a vast improvement over Tommy Lee Jones’ Two-Face who looked more at home with Run DMC than with Batman. I’d be more terrified of a chihuahua growling at me than that Two-Face. Click here to be spoiled.

Wow, you’re hairless. Like my balls.

For an upcoming movie titled Bill with Jessica Alba, Aaron Eckhart had to pretend his nuts hurt, but in order to give a genuine performance, he found it necessary to put clothespins on his balls. Aaron tells Men’s Journal,

“I had to pretend that my nuts hurt, so I put a clothespin on my nuts. Otherwise, you’re just learning your lines and saying them. There’s no art in that. People say, ‘Why do you want to put a clothespin on your nuts?’ You know why? Because that’s what I do for a living.”

More actors should show this kind of dedication. Which is why I propose Paris Hilton stage a return to film. I can set her up with cushy roles like “Woman punched in the eye” and “Woman punched in the ovaries.” Admittedly, Paris is a horrible actor — I’d rather watch two frogs hump while someone pours magma into my ass — but I’m willing to do as many takes as necessary. I’ll even hire Mike Tyson to help her out. With my own money! I’m dedicated too.